Fear
by But Friends Make Secrets
Summary: A lot of things stand between Yumichika and Bankai. Like the fact that he can't even tell his best friend the truth about his sword... Friendship only. Better than summary! Give it a try! NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all! So, this is my _first_ Bleach fanfic, and I don't really know what I think of it, so I'm open to opinions of all kinds(even flames). Hope you enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: Long story short- I own nothing.

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Ikkaku stared at the scene in front of him. He had just returned from turning in the reports from his last mission. Realizing he hadn't seen Yumichika in awhile, he decided to stop by to see if he wanted to get a drink or something to unwind. What he found when he opened the door to his friend's bedroom was Yumichika sitting cross-legged on the floor, glaring daggers at his Zanpakuto which was lying on the floor a few feet away.

"Um… Yumichika?" The vain shinigami whipped his head around at the sound of his name, now glaring at Ikkaku. Really, it was partially his fault he was in this situation to begin with…

* * *

_Ikkaku was sitting on the floor when he glanced over at his friend who was quietly reading on his bed._

"_Hey, Yumichka?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_You're pretty strong, right? I mean, when we spar, you and I are pretty close matched."_

"_Yeah…"_

"_So how come you haven't tried to achieve Bankai yet?" Yumichika blinked. It was true, he had never really tried. To be honest, he really hadn't thought about it. No situation had ever occurred where he'd really needed it. He shrugged._

"_I don't know, guess I never felt I needed to." Ikkaku grinned._

"_Well, you should work on it. I wanna see what it'd be." Yumichika smiled back._

"_I suppose I could…" After all, it could come in handy some day…_

* * *

"What Ikkaku!?" The bald man jumped back, a bit frightened by his friends demeanor. He briefly looked down at himself, wondering if there was a stain on his uniform or anything else that would normally evoke this sort of reaction from the feathered death god. Seeing nothing, he looked back up, smiling sheepishly.

"I uh, just wanted to know if ya wanted to get a drink or something…" Sending one final glare to his sword, Yumichika stood up quickly.

"Yes. I would." He said in a clipped tone as he walked past Ikkaku who, after glancing back at the sword confusedly, turned to catch up to his friend. Yumichika was still seething slightly. Stupid bankai. Stupid sword. What did he know anyways…

* * *

_Yumichika sat his sword down gently before sitting and closing his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he focused on connecting with his zanpakuto. Opening his eyes again, he found himself within his own mind. He looked around at the strange landscape. It looked like a normal scene of rolling hills, except for the fact that the hills were made of crystal clear water, unmoving except for occasional ripples. _

_Looking around, the shinigami eventually found his zanpakuto. He was rather tall, wearing elegant azure robes and dark brown hair tied in a low ponytail. He appeared to be in his 40s perhaps. Not really young, but not really old either. Approaching him, Yumichika called out._

"_Fuji Kujaku!" The sword spirit seemed to tense a bit, but otherwise did not respond._

"_Oi! Fuji Kujaku!" A vein of annoyance appeared on his head, but otherwise the spirit still refused to acknowledge the other. _

"_FUUUUJIIII KUUUJAKUUUU!!!!" Finally the sword turned around, flailing his arms in anger. _

"_THAT'S NOT MY NAME AND YOU KNOW IT!" The two glared at each other before looking away with a huff. After a moment, Yumichika sighed._

"…_hello Ruri'iro Kujaku." The sword grinned with fake sweetness._

"_See? That wasn't so hard, now was it?" After another moment of glaring, the sword finally asked,_

"_What are you doing here anyway?" The shinigami crossed his arms._

"_I want to achieve Bankai." There was a minute or so of silence as the two stared blankly at each other. Then suddenly…_

"_BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Ruri'iro Kujaku burst out laughing, doubled over and holding his sides as his master sputtered indignantly._

"_S-stop laughing! There's nothing funny about- SHUT UP! Hey! Swords are suppose to respect their yielder, you know!" The spirit gave a final chuckle as he wiped the tears from his eyes before standing to face the now red-faced man._

"_I'm sorry, it's just… You can barely say my name and you want to achieve bankai? Good luck with that!" Yumichika look at him confusedly._

"_What are you talking about? I know your name!" _

"_Yes, but you never use it. You only ever call me by that horrid nickname…" There was a moment of silence when suddenly, Ruri'iro Kujaku burst into tears._

"_Why!? Why are you so ashamed of me? I'm the most beautiful sword in all of Soul Society! Why do you despise me so!?" Yumichika glanced around before awkwardly patting his sword's shoulder. Darn spirit and his mood swings..._

"_H-hey, calm down. It's ok. I'm not, ashamed of you…" But the statement sounded so fake, even to Yumichika, that is just made the spirit cry harder._

"_I'm the prettiest zanpakuto! Everyone should get to see me! If you weren't so afraid…"_

"_Wait, what!? I'm not afraid of anything!" Ruri'iro Kujaku scoffed, tears suddenly stopping._

"_Oh please, your fears are the main reason you can't achieve Bankai."_

"_But I'm not-"_

_WACK!_

_Yumichika rubbed the top of his head where the spirit had just punched him._

"_Yes you are! You wont let anyone see my true form because you're afraid of how they'll react to me being a Kido type zanpakuto!" The feathered man glared._

"_I am _not _afraid. I merely… _choose _to not use your full released form." The sword scoffed again._

_"You wont even tell Ikkaku, and he's suppose to be your best friend. Don't you trust him?" _

_"Of-of course I trust him!"_

_"Just not with this?" Yumichika blinked a few times. After a moment, he finally turned away.  
_

"_Whatever. I don't need Bankai anyway." And with that, he returned to his room._

* * *

At the bar, Ikkaku and Yumichika met up with Renji and Iba. While the three were joking and talking about Captains and missions, Yumichika was putting away a surprising amount of alcohol. Despite his small frame, he could actually hold his liquor better than most of his friends. Regardless, His three companions still shot him a concerned glance when they finally noticed the glasses in front of him.

"…everything alright Yumi?" Renji asked innocently. The feathered shinigami slammed his glass on the counter and turned to force a smile at them. It was actually kind of scary.

"Oh yeah! Everything's juuust peachy! Nothing's wrong. Nope. I am completely at peace physically and mentally, no matter what that vain, know-it-all bastard of a zanpakuto says. I'm as good as always! Better even! CAN'T YOU TELL!?" The three death gods cowered under Yumichika's incredibly creepy, overly-large grin as he stood over them.

"Y-yeah!"

"Of course!"

"Never looked better!" Yumichika sat back down to continue glaring at his glass while the others wisely dropped the subject, leaving their friend to think things over on his own.

_I'm not afraid. It's just, not how things are done in 11th__ squad. I mean, it's not like, my biggest fear is Ikkaku finding out my zanpakuto is kido type and rejecting me or mocking me or thinking I'm weak or being angry with me or never speaking to me again…Of course not…_

Eventually, night fell, and the shinigami dispersed to their respective squad buildings. As they were walking, a slightly buzzed Ikkaku turned to his slightly buzzed friend.

"Hey, Yumi… you sure you're ok?" Looking over at him, Yumichika gave him a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Too drunk to discern the false tone in his companion's voice, Ikkaku continued walking, Yumichika falling slightly behind to stare at him as he walked.

_I'm not afraid…I'm not afraid… I'm not afraid…_

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_

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…

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…

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…

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_...I'm afraid...

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_

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_To be coninued...?_

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**And there you have it! Please let me know what you think and whether you think it's worth continuing. Thanks a million!**

**~~~BFMS~~~  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! So people seemed to want me to continue, so here you go! It's not as long as the last chapter, and I still don't really know what I think of it, so any reviews will be welcome, even flames. Hope you enjoy!**

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Yumichika sat on the ground, dirty and panting, but smiling all the same. A few weeks had passed since he had first begun his attempts at achieving bankai, and he was finally making progress. He had spent the weeks dealing with his moody zanpakuto as it switched from crying that Yumichika was ashamed of him, and smugly reminding him of his fears every chance he got. The shinigami lay back, allowing the ground below him, cool in the morning air, to sooth his warm body. The wind blew some of his hair into his face, but even his vanity couldn't get him to move right now. Every morning since he had begun this quest, he would wake up long before Ikkaku and walk to this training ground. He would then proceeded to place a number of barriers around it and leave a very intimidating message by the entrance to ward off any other shinigami who wished to use the grounds.

Of course, this still did not stop his friends from noticing changes in him. They could tell he was training due to the fatigued state in which they usually found him in the afternoon. As well, considering most of his 'training' seemed to consist of him arguing with Rui'iro Kujaku about his fears, he seemed more irritable, though after awhile he learned how to not take it out on his friends. However, no matter how hard he tried, he could not stop himself from being slightly awkward around Ikkaku. Most of his arguments between himself and his zanpakuto were about Yumichika telling his best friend the truth about his sword. As such, Yumichika had to deal with Rui'iro Kujaku constantly yelling at him in his head whenever he was with Ikkaku to "tell him now! Tell him! Tell him! TELL HIM!!!"

But despite all things, he had still managed to complete the first step in his bankai training.

"Oi! Don't ignore me now that I'm actually HERE!"

Materialization.

Yumichika grunted as his sword spirit kicked him.

"Get up! Just cause you actually managed to get me out here doesn't mean we're done for the day!" The feathered man sighed and sat up, glaring at him.

"All you're going to do is yell at me to tell Ikkaku you're kido type."

"Darn right I will! And I'll **keep **yelling at you until something I say manages to get through that thick skull of yours!"

"Don't make such an ugly expression so early in the morning." The zanpakuto screech at the remark, shaking his fists in anger.

"You're calling _me _ugly!? Have you seen yourself recently?" At this, Yumichika jumped up as well.

"I look like this because I've been working to get _you _out _here._ Maybe if you weren't so ugly, I wouldn't look so ugly after materializing you!"

"Don't blame beautiful people for _your _ugliness."

"I wasn't, I was blaming you!" The two glared at each other for a good solid minute before looking away with a huff. Rui'iro Kujaku opened his eyes a crack to watch his master out of the corner of his eye. Yumichika was shivering slightly, the morning breeze not as refreshing as if had been a moment before. Sweat was coated his brow, his cheeks slightly flushed while the rest of his body seemed paler. He had dark circles under his eyes and he could tell his reiatsu was low from the strain of materializing him for the first time. He looked like he was going to pass out any moment. The spirit sighed, looking away again.

"Look, why don't you rest for awhile. Take today off and we'll resume your training tomorrow when you're recuperated." Yumichika glanced sideways at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. We wont be able to get anything done when you're like this anyways." Yumichika nodded, relieved that they wouldn't be doing anything else today. Bidding each other a slightly frosty farewell (as well as a final reminder from Kujaku to tell Ikkaku about his zanpakuto), the spirit returned to his own world. The shinigami sighed again as he walked to the ground entrance, removing the barriers and threatening note.

After what seemed like a painfully long walk, he finally arrived back at his room. As he entered, he saw Ikkaku sitting up in bed, reading over some old mission files. Looking up, the bald man's eyes widened when he saw the state of his best friend. He looked dirty and tired and in utter disarray, and it was still relatively early.

"Yumi…" Ikkaku was met with a glare that clearly told him now was not the time, so he remained silent as Yumichika disappeared into the bathroom. He listened as he heard the bath running and figured, judging by the way his friend was looking, that he would be in there for awhile.

And he was. Nearly forty-five minutes passed before the death god reemerged, clean and content as could be. Ikkaku smiled as he watched Yumichika practically skip out of the bathroom, glad that he was back to looking like himself. Clearly all he had needed was to return to his 'beautiful' state. Now that he was in a better mood, the shinigami figured it would be safe to ask,

"So what messed you up this morning?" Yumichika smiled as he lay down on his own bed. Despite how irritating this morning, heck the past couple of weeks, had been and how annoyed he'd been with his sword, he still couldn't help but be proud of his accomplishment.

"I finally reached materialization." Ikkaku sat up straighter, smiling widely.

"Really? Awesome! You're getting closer." Yumichika nodded, closing his eyes. His friend grinned a bit more as he looked at him.

"That would explain it. I remember how exhausted and disgusting I was after I reached materialization." At this, Yumichika cracked an eye open, smirking.

"Wow. For someone like you to say that, you really _must _have been disgusting." He chuckled as Ikkaku sputtered indignantly.

"What's that suppose at mean?!" He tried to glare, but the shinigami's laugh was infectious, and soon they were both laughing. Ikkaku only stopped when he noticed that Yumichika's laughter had died down. Looking over, he smiled as he realized his friend was already half asleep.

"Rest up, Yumi. Ya deserve it." Yumichika nodded absentmindedly, wincing slightly as he fell into a fitful sleep, still hearing the voice in his head.

_Tell him… Tell him…_

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_**And there you go! Please let me know what you think!**

**Also, I'm trying to decide if I want Yumichika to _tell _Ikkaku about his sword, or if he should _show _him, like in a battle or something. I haven't decided, so opinions are greatly appreciated (although bare in mind, this doesn't _necessarily _mean Ikkaku's going to find out next chapter. That's still up in the air).**

**Oh, and also (long AN) I am in fact well aware that it takes much longer than a few weeks to reach materialization/ bankai in general, but for the sake of this story, it's not gonna take as long as it actually does (as in, not a couple _hundred _years).  
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** I'll try not to take too long on the updates. Thanks again all!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! I know it's been awhile, and I'm sorry, but it couldn't be avoided. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

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_Yumichika sighed. It was just his luck that he would get cornered. This was one of the worst districts of the Rukongai, and he was incredibly unlucky when it came to his own safety. He could handle one or two guys, maybe more if his sword was with him, but he was untrained. And he had been backed into a corner by four guys bigger than him who thought he was a good target. his weapon had been left at the hotel he was staying at, thinking he would only be out for a short while. He braced himself as the men grinned wickedly, determined to at least make this as difficult as possible for them. All of a sudden, there came a sharp laugh from the alley entrance where Yumichika had been trapped. He and his attackers turned to find themselves faced with a maniacally grinning bald man._

_"Four of you, huh? This must be my lucky day!" Yumichika narrowed his eyes. Of course, this stranger would consider his misfortune lucky. However, at that moment, the mysterious man pulled out a sword and jumped at the four villains. Yumichika could only watch on in awe as the fight went on until a few minutes later when there were four unconscious bodies on the ground and one victorious bald man standing over them. Grinning satisfyingly, he walked over to the man he had just saved._

_"You alright?"_

_"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."_

_"Heh, no problem. I haven't had a good fight in awhile. Not that these guys were much of a challenge." After receiving only an eye roll in response, he continued._

_"What's your name anyway?"_

_"Yumichika Ayasegwa. And you?"_

_"Ikkaku Madarame."_

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_"Teach me to fight." _

_Ikkaku scoffed, not even bothering to turn around and face his companion._

_"Why?"_

_"So I can actually help in some of these fights! I'm tired of you always having to protect me."_

_"You can already fight pretty good."_

_"Not as good as you." _

_Ikkaku grinned. "Oh, I see. You just want to finally beat me in a fight!" He began laughing, but was cut short by a sharp kick to his crotch. As he crumpled on the ground, Yumichika smirked above him._

_"Actually, I was thinking it might give you the upper hand."_

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_Yumichika grinned. How his luck had changed... He use to curse the way he seemed to attract trouble. But now, with his own skills improving and his comrade at his side, he found joy in these battles. The moves and strikes, it was a beauty he had been unable to see before but was now a part of. So as he and Ikkaku turned to face the gang that had surrounded them. They both grinned with happiness. Yes, his luck had changed indeed._

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_The fights waged on. Yumichika winced as Ikkaku took another hit. Lately, the partnership they had developed had begun to diminish. Ikkaku no longer wanted his help. Everyone they found, he wanted to take on alone. He was no loner patient enough to allow the fights to come to them, instead opting to start trouble with anyone he thought might be a worthy challenger. His fighting was no longer beautiful. It was painful. Desperate. And on that fateful day, when they discovered an invincible warrior and a pink haired child, Yumichika watched as his friend begged for death. And on that day, Yumichika knew that if his wish was granted, he would beg for death as well._

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_Ikkaku winced as his companion bandaged his wounds, his hands shaking more than usual. The bald fighter frowned. Yumichika had fixed him up lots of times, but he had never seemed this out of it._

_"Hey, Yumi. You alright?" The long-haired man looked up, slightly startled, before quickly shaking his head._

_"I'm fine, it's just... I really thought you were going to die today." The last part was whispered, almost missed. Ikkaku looked away, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that he had thought the same. He had been looking for death. All these years of fighting, what he wanted more than anything was an honorable death. Dying at the hands of someone truly stronger than himself. But... what was honorable about begging for death? No. He would get stronger. And..._

_"We have to find him." Yumichika's head snapped up so fast, it made Ikkaku wince again._

_"What?" Ikkaku shook his head, knowing he did not need to explain. He knew Yumichika was worried, but at the same time, understood._

_"We have to find him."_

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_Ikkaku walked away from the Kido grounds, wiping soot from his face as his friend following close behind._

_"Don't worry, Ikkaku. Lots of people don't get it the first time!" Ikkaku scowled, embarrassed._

_"Who cares about kido anyway! Real warriors fight with their own strength. I mean, Kenpatchi doesn't even have a zanpakuto!" There was a moment of silence._

_"...But, it's still useful to know. And can help in battles." Ikkaku rolled his eyes, still frustrated with the whole situation._

_"Yeah, it's useful for people who can't win on their own! Pathetic... It's cheap!" Deep down, Ikkaku knew what he was saying wasn't true. But he couldn't stand that he was unable to do something that so many of the other students accomplished with ease. Had he been looking, he would have noticed his friend lag behind as his words were engraved in Yumichika's mind. But he wasn't looking._

_So he walked on._

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_He couldn't move. Couldn't speak as he watched his best friend walk away. The words echoed around him._

**_"It's cheap!"_**

**_"Real warriors fight with their own strangth!"_**

**_"Who cares about kido anyway!"_**

**_"Pathetic!"_**

_He watched as Ikkaku got farther and father away, his footsteps thundering in his ears, like a bell. He couldn't even think as the sound mixed with the echoing, clouding his mind. He felt himself falling to the ground just as Ikkaku disappeared from his sight..._

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Yumichika bolted upright in his bed, eyes wide and heart racing. He heard the sound of a bell and for a minute feared it hadn't been a dream at all. But as he calmed down, he recognized the sound as the emergency bell. The hallway outside his room was filled with shinigami running to get to their posts. Suddenly, his door was thrown open. Ikkaku was standing looking serious.

"Yumi, let's go! There's an emergency!"

And just like that, he was gone. Just like in his dream. Yumichika shuddered before forcing himself out of bed and running down the hall.

Desperately trying to find his friend...

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** I don't know how much longer I'm going to make this, maybe two or three chapters, I haven't decided. Please let me know what you think, good or bad. Thanks a million for all the reviews already recieved! I super appreciate them!**

**~~~BFMS~~~  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello all! Long time no update, huh? *laughs nervously* hehe, eh. Yeah, sorry about that. Life's been... yeah. So, sorry. Um, hope you enjoy the chapter though! And thanks a million to those who haven't given up on the story! I uber appreciate it!

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The entire eleventh squad had been assembled. Yumichika was now standing next to Ikkaku, awaiting orders from their invincible captain. Finally, Zaraki arrived, towering above all others in the room.

"Listen up!" The room immediately went silent.

"We just got word of a flood of hollows entering the real world, all Menos level and above. We've been assigned to destroy all hollows along with finding out where they're coming from. Got it?"

Kenpatchi grinned as he was met with prompt agreements. The squad then followed him as they exited Soul Society and entered the real world. Even as he was barking orders, all could see their captains excitement at the prospect of a possibly challenging battle.

Ikkaku and Yumichika were a bit disappointed when they were assigned to take the east side of town as appose to closer to the center when the stream of hollow, and their captain, would be. However, they were never ones to question orders and understood that their strength was needed elsewhere.

As they traveled, Yumichika took in the state of the town. This was going to be a mess to fix. There were parts of the town that were completely in ruins. Menos firing ceros off at random, sometimes as a group. Adjuchas ordered the Gillian to do their will, ripping apart the landscape to reach their victims. The humans in the area ran and screamed in confusion, not understanding the destruction that, to them, appeared to have no source. For a moment, Yumichika thought he caught a glimpse of a certain orange-haired shinigami, but the next moment he was gone.

Ikkaku and Yumichika landed outside a shopping mall, humans flooding out of the building that, unknown to them, was covered with adjuchas. The third and fifth seat immediately set to work, first focusing on saving the souls being attacked.

"Grow, Hozukimaru!"

"Bloom, Fuji Kujaku!" Yumichika winced as he heard a frustrated and indignant screech in the back of his mind. He quickly shook his head and ignored it, concentrating on the battle ahead.

Yumichika and Ikkaku split up, each taking a separate side of the damaged mall. Ikkaku swung his staff down hard at an adjuchas that had a screaming woman in its hand. The creature cried out as the now-severed limb fell to the ground, the panicked woman running as far away from the building as she could. With a few quick strikes, the furious adjuchas was no more. Soon, the surrounding adjuchas met a similar fate.

Meanwhile, the feathered shinigami found himself on the roof, desperately trying to kill as many foes as he could. He had noticed as he ascended the building, that despite the many people exiting the mall, a good deal were still inside, trying to find loved ones, lost, trapped, or simply fighting to get through the crowds. The structure had taken a lot of damage from the adjuchas' attack, and Yumichka wondered how much longer it would stand before collapsing. As such, He knew that they would have to win this battle quickly.

However, this was soon becoming a problem. Yumichika yelped as he was sent flying forward by a scaly tentacle that cracked against his back like a whip. He rushed to pick himself up, turning around to see the tall monster that had attacked him. With a few swipes of his sword, the hollow was no more. Yet he still found himself on the ground in pain mere moments after. This time he found himself facing a very large, clawed creature, somewhat resembling a horrific bear. Again and again, Yumichika would defeat one enemy, only to find himself being attacked from behind my one of the numerous others. There were just too many.

Time passed. Too much time. The soul reaper wondered if his friend was having as much trouble as he was, only to have his question answered moments later when Ikkaku crashed through the floor beside him, groaning in pain.

Rising from the ground, the two shinigami stood side by side as they were swiftly surrounded. They were both bruised and bloody and were now encircled by towering adjuchas. Their were so many and they were so strong. Yumichika looked at his companion and knew the situation was worse than he thought. Ikkaku had made a mistake. He had gone into this battle determined as ever _not _to reveal his bankai. And as a result, now that he really _needed _his bankai, he no longer had enough reiatsu to use it even if he wanted to. He said some colorful words under his breath, cursing the whole situation. Yumichika looked at Ikkaku worriedly.

**_You can win this you know._**

Yumichika almost jumped at his swords voice. He growled slightly.

_Not now, Kujaku._

_**Yes, now. Before you allow yourself, your friend, and innocent people to be killed.**_

The soul reaper bit his lip. He knew his sword was right, but… He glanced over at Ikkaku. He remembered all the times he had been shoved aside, practically threatened if he even considered assisting him in a fight. He remembered all the rants about pride, and dying honorably. He remembered the harsh words against Kido. But then he remembered something else… something he had heard the gentle thirteenth division captain say._ There are two types of battle…_

He looked at Ikkaku again and realized, this had nothing to do with pride. It was not some battle that his friend had thrown himself into hoping to have a decent opponent. Heck, this wasn't even really Ikkaku's fight. It was a mission, both of theirs, together. One that if they failed they would pay for with their own lives as well as others. And he had to do something.

**_Please…_**

Yumichika felt as if he couldn't breath. His lungs simply wouldn't take in enough air. He wondered, if the price was too much. If he really would rather die that have Ikkaku look down upon him. Actually, he _knew_ he would rather die than have Ikkaku look down upon him. But he also could not live if innocent people died because of him. If Ikkaku died…

Yumichika squared his shoulders, fixing his gaze ahead and raising his sword above his head. Out of the corned of his eye, he saw Ikkaku looked at him, confused. The lack of oxygen returned and he felt his resolve weaken slightly, his eyes suddenly downcast and clenched shut. But he did not stop the word that came out of his mouth.

"Split and Deviate."

Ikkaku's eyes widened slightly.

_"…Ruri'iro Kujaku…"_

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**CLIFF HANGER!!! Oh, I'm so mean. Hehe. Actually, If I had to guess, there's probably only going to be two or three more chapters and possibly an epilogue. I pretty much know what I'm doing from this point, so It shouldn't take that long to finish. Thanks you all for reading and if you feel like taking it one step further, just click that lovely 'review' button down there! Thanks again all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**SURPRISE! Two chapters at once! And the last few should be coming within the next day or so. Hope that makes up for the otherwise slow updates! Hope you all enjoy!

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In all their years of friendship, Ikkaku had never really understood Yumichika's obsession with beauty. As much as he tried, the bald man simply could not see what his friend saw in all the things he practically worshiped. But as he watched Yumichika's sword divide, the azure vines stretching, glowing with power, he could not help but suddenly understand. Ruri'iro Kujaku was probably one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. Then, quick as a flash, the vines extending from the hilt of his companion's sword wrapped themselves around the surrounding adjuchas. The creatures screeched and howled, but found themselves bound in place by the beautiful weapon, now revealing its deadly nature. At first , Ikkaku did not understand what was happening as the originally tiny flower buds began to grow at an alarming rate. But as they bloomed and the hollows one by one began to disintegrate, his eyes widened in realization.

_He's draining their reiatsu. _

Ikkaku had never even imagined that such a powerful sword existed, let alone belonged to the vain shinigami he called his best friend. He was so astonished, it took in a few moments to put all the pieces together.

_This isn't his bankai… it's his shikai… So what was he using before?… And… This sword is definitely Kido-type… so that means… he's been lying to me? _

Even as he began to understand, still Ikkaku felt confused. He continued staring at the spot where, mere moments earlier, there had been an impossible number of adjuchas. He was only pulled from his inner rambling by a small glowing flower held out to him. He looked at it, then glanced at Yumichika who was looking away, ashamed and refusing to meet his gaze.

"Take it."

Ikkaku gently took the flower from the other, still confused.

"Uh…"

"Put it in your mouth."

Ikkaku raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told. He bit down on one of the petals and was startled by the sudden feeling of reiatsu flowing into him. He felt his bruises and cuts heal themselves and within moments he was as good as new.

As grateful as he was, Ikkaku could not help the anger growing within him. Yumichika had all this power, and he had never told him? They were suppose to be best friends. They'd gone through all different kinds of Hell together, yet he apparently didn't even know his real zanpakuto. He was angry and frustrated and… hurt. As such, his default reaction for any sort of overwhelming emotion was to yell. But just as he opened his mouth, Yumichika began walking away.

"Come on. There are still more hollow."

Ikkaku frowned, frustrated.

"Fine!" He spat out the word in a way that clearly stated that this was in no way over. Yumichika flinched, but otherwise continued towards a group of Gillian. As the day wore on, Ikkaku found himself getting more and more angry. Yumichika was once again using Fuji Kujaku, none of the following battles requiring him to resort to his secret weapon. _Secret. _That's what made Ikkaku so mad. Yumichika had kept such a big secret from him. Why? They had known each other for decades, Ikkaku didn't keep anything from his friend. When he had first achieved bankai, it was Yumichika who he ran to and told of his joy. It was Yumichika who he told of his fears of being forced into Captain position. It was Yumichika who listened to him whenever he needed. He trusted Yumichika, did he not trust Ikkaku?

Luckily, his anger translated into him violently killing everything that came his way, so he didn't have many troubles with his opponents. Finally, after managing to destroy another grouping of hollow, another squad member came and told them that the entrance where the hollow had been arriving had been destroyed by Kenpatchi and they were now heading back to Soul Society.

Ikkaku thanked the shinigami before dismissing him. As soon as he was gone, Ikkaku turned to Yumichika, hoping to finally talk to him about what the heck had happened earlier and finally get a straight explanation. However, all he was met with was Yumichika's retreating back, quickly jumping back towards the rest of the division. Ikkaku growled and followed quickly, catching up easily, but no longer able to discuss anything seeing as they were now surrounded by people. Ikkaku always preferred a little privacy when he was yelling at people.

Unfortunately for Yumichika, the division meeting didn't last long, the soul reapers being dismissed by their blood-stained, cheerful captain to get some rest. Yumichika turned and had just begun a flash step to his room when he was jerked back with a harsh tug by a steely grip on his wrist. He quickly regained his balance before looking up into the narrowed, angry eyes of Ikkaku.

"We need to talk."

The voice was clipped and sharp. Yumichika looked down at the floor again but nodded none the less. The two friend's then made their way back to Yumichika's room, which was closest.

Ikkaku couldn't help but think Yumichika resembled a man walking to the gallows.

* * *

**Oooh, secret's out and Ikkaku's maaad! But don't worry, I promise everything has a happy ending! (This is really more for suspense.)(IS IT WORKING!?!?!) The next chapter shall be up at the most, within the next day or two, possibly even later today depending on what happens with my schedule. Please let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

Yumichika flinched as Ikkaku slammed the door shut behind them. He turned slowly to look at his fuming friend.

"What. The. HELL, Yumi!?"

Yumichika opened his mouth to respond, but Ikkaku continued speaking, pacing the room.

"I mean, what the heck happened back there!? That was _not _your shikai. At least not the one you _told _me about! It was all, glowing and flowery and you **drained their freakin reiatsu**, Yumichika! What _was_ that!?" Ikkaku stopped, panting slightly. He turned back to the vain shinigami in front of him, eyes narrowed.

"Explain. Now."

Yumichika gulped, taking in a shaky breath before speaking.

"That was my shikai. My _real _shikai."

Ikkaku looked at him suspiciously.

"So what was the other sword you've been using all this time?"

"By calling my zanpakuto Fuji Kujaku instead of Ruri'iro Kujaku, I could use a partial release."

Ikkaku nodded.

"Ok, I think I get that. But now answer me this: Why? I mean, why did you use a partial release and why on _earth _did you **never tell me**!?"

Yumichika looked away, not wanting to look at Ikkaku's furious expression.

"You had to have noticed…"

Ikkaku just looked at him, confused.

"…Ruri'iro Kujaku is a Kido-type sword. And we're in the eleventh."

The bald man stared at his friend, wide eyed.

"_That's _what this is about? That's why you kept this a secret?" Ikkaku turned, kicking the dresser next to him viciously. "_Hell_, Yumi, you've got one of the most freakin powerful swords I've ever seen! I doubt any one, even in the eleventh would care whether or not it was a freakin Kido-type! And I sure as Hell don't care!"

Yumichika head snapped up, suddenly a little angry himself, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

"You're the one who started this whole thing! You're the one who's been against Kido from day one!"

"What?"

"Oh come on, back in the academy! All you ever talked about was how pathetic Kido was!"

Just as he opened his mouth to tell his friend how ridiculous he was, Ikkaku remembered. He remembered never being able to grasp the concept of Kido, never getting the spell right, always denouncing it to his classmates in a desperate attempt to hide his own incompetence. He remembered Yumichika standing next to him the whole time.

"Hell, Yumi…"

There was a moment of silence. Neither knew what to say, both angry and just a little guilty. But the silence only lasted a moment before the dresser found itself being kicked harshly again.

"_HELL_, Yumi!" Ikkaku was practically shaking as he stared at his friend. "I didn't mean any of that! I sucked at Kido! I just said all that so none of the other students would mock me for failing that class so bad. I assumed you knew that! You were always good in that class! At least, good enough to pass better than me. Were you holding back then, too? Sabotaging yourself just cause I was bad? I don't care if you're good at something I'm not! I mean… _Hell, _Yumi…"

Yumichika stared, shocked at all that had just been revealed to him. But still…

"If you really don't care, then why did you get so angry after I used my real sword?! Why are you so angry now!?"

Another kick. Some of the wood actually splintered.

"**I'm not angry because your sword is Kido**, Yumichika! I'm _angry_ because you LIED TO ME!!"

A moment of silence. Not much. Practically a heartbeat.

"I've _always _trusted you, Yumichika! I trusted you all the years we were traveling in Rukongai, I trusted you during all our battles as shinigami, I trusted you when I finally achieved bankai. Why couldn't you trust me with this!?"

They stared at each other. Not knowing what to say to somehow fix this.

"_Hell, _Yumi…"

And with those final words, Ikkaku turned and exited the room.

* * *

Yumichika stood, wide-eyed and shaking. He could feel tears building in his eyes.

**_It could have been worse…_**

His zanpakuto's pathetic attempt to lighten the situation was all it took for the feathered soul reaper to snap. He let out a long, shrill cry. Grabbing the nearest thing he could find, a vase, he hurled it with all his might into the wall. Even as the shards were falling, he was grabbing another vase, and then a mirror, and soon anything and everything in the room was being destroyed in the most violent manner.

**_I'm sorry…_**

But the swords apology was either lost or ignored among the shinigami's screams as he continued to throw and destroy whatever he could get his hands on. All the things he called beauttiful shattered beneath his fingers. It worked, because none of the others in the division were brave enough to go anywhere near the fifth seat's room.

So no one heard him crying.

* * *

**NorthernShinigami - Cookies? *puppy eyes***

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Oh, and you know how I was saying this chapter would come sooner depending on my schedule? Well turns out, I've got absolutely nothing to do today! And you know what that means... More chapters! They shall be coming intermittently throughout the day. I think I'll finish this today but if not then probably tomorrow. Thanks all for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

Ikkaku was pacing again, this time in his own room. He had cooled down considerably during his walk back, but was still hyped-up enough to not be able to sit still for any amount of time. He poured himself a glass of sake, gulped it down, and resumed his pacing.

He couldn't believe that Yumichika had lied to him all this time. On the one hand, he was angry and… sad, because his best friend didn't even think he could trust him with the true nature of his zanpakuto. But on the other hand, he felt guilty. Had he really been that bad at the academy? Had he really been so angry and said so many things that he had convinced Yumichika that he would hate him just because of his sword? Some friend he was…

_**Just go back and talk to him already.**_

Ikkaku jumped, but quickly rolled his eyes at his own zanpakuto's intervention.

_Oh, what do you care? _

_**I don't really, but you're causing one heck of an earthquake here. Your mind's a mess and in case you've forgotten, I live here. **_

_Oh…_

_**Yeah. So go back, you can both apologize, and I can get back to sleep.**_

_Why should I apologize!? He's the one whose been lying to me this whole time!_

_**But you just admitted a moment ago that you might have been the cause of that.**_

_Yeah, well, still…_

_**Oh, who are you kidding, would you have really been that ok with him beating you at Kido in the academy? **_

The bald man thought for a moment. Maybe his sword was right. As long as he had known Yumichika he had been the stronger one. Sure, the vain shinigami was never far behind, but all the same. Would he have been understanding if Yumichika had excelled at a subject he had utterly failed? He honestly didn't know. If he had been a jerk, he probably would have gotten over it eventually, but…

_Ok, so maybe Yumi's feeling were justified…a little…_

_**Yeah, yeah. Just go apologize for blowing up at him, he'll apologize for lying and your mind can finally stabilize. **_

Ikkaku rolled his eyes again as he sat on his bed, head in his hands. He was still angry, but… it wasn't worth losing his friend over. He sighed. This whole situation was frustrating. After a few minutes, he decided he couldn't put it off any more and stood up. As he left, he glanced at the clock on his bed-side table. A little more than an hour had passed since he had left Yumichika alone in his room. He hoped he hadn't waited too long…

* * *

Ikkaku stood outside his friend's room. It was eerily quiet, although it was well into the night and therefore had no reason for it to be noisy. He hesitantly raised his hand to knock before remembering who he was and quickly attempted to seem confident as he rapped his fist on the door.

"Yumi? You in there?"

There was a moment of silence before Ikkaku heard the response.

"Come in." It was not loud, nor quiet. His voice sounded… normal? The third seat slid the door opening, taking in his surroundings. Yumichika was sitting cross-legged in the center of the room. His eyes were slightly red, but otherwise he seemed as calm and composed as ever. This merely made the picture even more bizarre, as he was surrounded by chaos and destruction. Shattered glass, splintered wood, and overturned furniture covered the room. Nothing appeared untouched by the tornado that seemed to have ripped through the room. Ikkaku had never seen his friend look so calm when in the midst of such "ugliness". The bald man picked his way through the rubble, cleared a spot, and sat down next to Yumichika. They both stared straight ahead, neither looking at the other.

"… I'm sorry." Yumichika was the first to speak, eyes downcast.

"Eh, It's alright. I'm sorry too. Guess I kinda overreacted on you, huh?"

Yumichika's eyes widened a bit as he glanced at Ikkaku through the corner of his eye, surprised both by the apology and the acceptance of his own apology. However, he still gave a small smile and chuckled.

"I think we both might have overreacted a bit." He gave a limp gesture to his once pristine and orderly room. Ikkaku chuckled a bit as well.

"Yeah, I've never seen you with so much as a smudge on your mirror and suddenly I come back to this. For a second I thought I walked into the wrong room." They both laughed for a moment until Yumichika choked a bit. Ikkaku looked over and caught a glimpse of Yumichika's watery eyes a split second before he turned away.

"Sorry. I just didn't worry about the room cause… I didn't really think you'd be coming back." The last part was barely heard, his voice cracking a bit. Ikkaku shifted uncomfortably. It was a well know fact to, well, everyone, that the third seat was NOT the world's best comforter. He settled for smiling and nudging Yumichika with elbow.

"Hey, come on, we're cool. I mean, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, I just… I want you to know you can trust me. You don't have ta keep thing like this a secret, you know?"

Yumichika nodded. He straightened up, turning back to face Ikkaku. He wiped away a stray tear and smiled brightly, trying to appear normal.

"Yeah, I know now. I shouldn't lied to you, it was a very ugly thing of me to do."

Ikkaku laughed and stood up, offering his friend a hand up.

"It's ok just, don't do it again, ok?" He pulled Yumichika off the floor and was surprised when he suddenly found himself being fiercely embraced by the feathered soul reaper. He semi-awkwardly patted his back as Yumichika spoke into his shoulder.

"Thank you, Ikkaku."

"Heh, it's no problem. Really."

_**Told you so.**_

_Shut up, you're ruining the mood._

"Although while we're at it, any more hidden powers you want to tell me about?"

Yumichika laughed and shook his head as he released his friend, ignoring his sword's smug, inner commentary. The two of them looked around at the wreckage that still covered the room. Ikkaku spent the rest of the night with Yumichika, helping him clean up the mess he had made. They talked as they worked, their conversations swinging from lighthearted joking, to more seriously talk of what had transpired between them. Luckily for Ikkaku though, neither of them cried again. By the time the sun had risen, the room was clean and their friendship repaired.

As they left the room, Ikkaku noticed Yumichika flinch slightly.

"Something wrong?"

Yumichika just chuckled and smiled.

"No, nothing at all."

And so they continued walking, Ikkaku having no idea what Yumichika was being forced to listen to.

_**Told you so! Told you so! Told you so!**_

_Shut UP, Kujaku!_

* * *

_._

_

* * *

_**Whoo! The end! Yay! All that's left is the epilogue. Which is coming... now!**


	8. epilogue

**One Year Later

* * *

**

Ikkaku leapt back to avoid being sliced by Yumichika's sword. A lot had happened since his true zanpakuto had been revealed. After awhile, Ikkaku convinced Yumichika to tell their captain, Zaraki Kenpatchi, about his sword's real power. At first the feathered shinigami had freaked out, positive that he would be kicked out of the eleventh division that he had worked so hard to get into. But after much coercing, Ruri'iro Kujaku was released, and surprise, surprise, nothing bad happened. Kenpatchi was shocked, to say the least ("It scares me a bit that pretty-boy is the one with that much power…") but didn't mind at all. He actually started bragging to the other captains about just how strong his squad was, that his fifth seat could probably beat most of their lieutenants. As such, word got around pretty fast. Yumichika was offered many higher positions in different squads, but happily stayed as the narcissist, eleventh division fifth seat they had all come to know and love. Just a lot scarier.

He still used Fuji Kujaku quite a bit, but more because he felt sparring was more of a challenge than for fear of using his true zanpakuto. When on missions he never failed to use his sword as soon as he felt they needed it, often helping to heal the injured and many times turning the tides of battles thought lost.

The bald fighter brought his staff down at Yumichika's head, but was blocked and pushed back.

"Split and deviate, Ruri'iro Kujaku!"

Ikkaku fash stepped around the vines, trying to hold them off with Hozukimaru. He grinned widely, loving the new challenges their spars had become.

"You're gonna have at work harder than that Yumichika!"

A lot had happened between the two friends, also. Ikkaku noticed soon after word got out about Yumichika's sword that his friend seemed, well, different. It took him a while to realize that the vain shinigami was much more relaxed. He seemed more at ease with everything, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It made him happy to know that Yumichika had one less thing to worry about all the time.

Ikkaku dodged again, trying to attack his opponent without becoming entangled within the potentially deadly vines. Flipping behind him, the third seat swung Hozukimaru at the fifth seat's back. Luckily, Yumichika managed to flash step away just in time. He grinned.

"You think you can beat me, Ikkaku?"

"What, don't tell me you think _you're _going to win?"

Ikkaku's smile faltered. There was something scary about the look on Yumichika's face…That grin definitely spelled bad news…

"Uh, Yumi…?"

Yumichika's smile just grew as he held his sword out. Ikkaku's eyes widened.

* * *

**_"…Bankai!"_**

**_

* * *

_**

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The End

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Yeah! It's finished! I just realized that this is the first multi-chapter story I've completed! *throws confetti*Well I hope you all enjoyed! Thanks so much for reading! Also, keep an eye out cause I might post, as a separate fic, a chapter that I almost added in this story but decided against. But that would probably be in a day or so.  
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